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| deny all you want, but you can never change a person...especially a person's personality.
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| As much as I am interested in global studies, in international affairs, enjoy criticizing certain world leaders for their flaws and hypocrisy, I HATE...I repeat HATE Globalization of Economics! Part of the reason is because of my ridiculously stupid professor who does not know how to teach. Her grading policies are absurd. And her random exams. She does not notify you when she decides to test you, or even over what materials will her test contain. Someone..fire her.
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| Here goes one of Christine's infamous random rambles.
I have come to a point where I do not recall what I did, said, heard, or saw hours ago. And whatever I do remember, I get this warped up confusion between what really happened and what I dreamt of before. I am starting to get a little worried for myself, but there is nothing I can do about it. Perhaps in a few years, I would start to forget people I know? That would be the day where I need to seriously consider seeking for medical help.
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| wouldn't it be wonderful if we could grow money from trees? 
i will grow tons of them. at the same time we can save trees and ourselves! money + oxygen = solves all problems..right?
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| Sometimes I think to myself.. why be so nice. Why care for people who don't even care for you? They never appreciate any of the good stuff you did for them. They will never remember any of the good times you've had with them. But what they will remember, and forever hold grudge against you is what they told/showed others to view you as bad. But what the others did not know is the underlying truth behind the bad perception of you. That the truth is, there are such people in this world who loves to lie. They love to lie to the world, their peers, friends, family, and especially to themselves. And to cover up their lies, they would pick randomly on whoever is unlucky, loyal, and close to them, as someone to blame on. Such misfortune fools, like I, have been emotionally abused over and over. It has become a continuous habit for them to use me as their target. I am tired of being viewed as the bad guy while the real bad guy acts like the victim.
I believe in karma. I believe as one does no harm to others, then no one shall do harm to you. But why does it seem like the ones who does so much harm to others, never seem to get any punishment? When will they finally come to realization that whatever they are doing now hurts others and does not benefit them at all? I am confident enough to say that I had never harmed a soul. I had never done anything wrong to anyone (maybe other than ramble about them on xanga?). I do not need any acknowledgment for my good deeds. I just want a simple appreciation. By appreciation I mean just leave me in peace. Please do not take advantage of my true friendship to you and toss it around like it is rubbish. I just want you to care for me as much as I cared for you. Nothing more, nothing less. If you do not like me, just tell me, I have been leaving you alone anyway. It is you who is not letting me go. Let me be. Stop trying to bring me back into your life when you're bored and then leave me hanging off a cliff whenever you feel shitty. Stop trying to raise my hopes up high and then drop it all down to hell. I do not see your point in doing so.
I am really tired. I do not want to fight you anymore. You win. And what do you get out of this for winning? Nothing.
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